I HAVE FAILED A MILLION TIMES. WHAT'S ONE MORE?
TAG WITH @vicious
ESSER BLACKWELL
amour interdit [ closed | trigger ]
POSTED ON Dec 6, 2018 20:13:27 GMT
he won't even give her this. it never passes the confines of her throat. she chokes not on the contents of the pill but from the grip that prevents her from meeting her end. his vice-grip is inescapable and not even oxygen can pass through his angry fingers. esser can feel herself choking, gagging. an uncomfortable push against her gut forces her to expunge it. "why," she chokes out, sobbing from the sheer pain of his prying. but it doesn't end there. it never does with silas. what comes next is punishment - he finally breaks her in once and for all.
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esser falls for the same pitfalls that other girls her age do. adolescences is a time filled with romance and fantasies. to say she hadn't fancied the thought of something more would've been a lie, taboo be damned. l'appel du vide. it's all broken promises, idle thoughts, odd swirls of subconsciousness that's thrown into wack by her changing mind and body. blame the hormones or a twisted subset of a freudian complex. esser knows better than to act on it but they're there. occasional, and no more different than the weird kinks of literature that prey on youth that don't know any better.
the difference is that esser knows to ignore it. she's self-aware enough to know that what she envisions is a romanticized illusion. her brother is no hero. he's a sick, twisted bastard who's entangled her into his web of deceit and violence. so when he acts on it esser knows better. this is not going to unfold how she had always thought it would. she knows it yet she cannot resist. not due to sentiments, not out of her abusive stockholmn syndrome-- she cannot resist because doing so will result in death. the red hand print throbs against her neck. it feels like he's crushing her throat. she can still breath but just barely.
what comes next is the crashing disappointment of reality. there's not warmth or giddiness that comes from the act. no, silas is a monster. he breaks her. physically and spiritually. all the literature, advice, and bad portrayals in the media don't do justice to how far off their rendition of the act is. it hurts, stings, literally feeling him inflict pain on her. at first she tries to stifle it but she can't handle it for long. he doesn't stop and the pain never subsides. he keeps inflicting it on her not out of satisfaction from her misery but from his own self indulgence. esser finds herself silently sobbing not long after, blank minded and staring at the ceiling, begging for it to be over. only her raw instinct for survival keeps her from pushing away. it's not like she could succeed anyway.
when all is said and done, esser doesn't make a peep. she lays there, battered and broken, much like slateport. dried tears stain the edges of her eyes as she shrinks back into herself. silas may leave, a one and done kind of deal, but this is forever something that esser will remember. he took more than just her innocence-- he robbed her of her devotion. this is the breaking point. this is the catharsis she needs to ascend. this is the point in time that changes her person, her mentality, and most importantly her outlook on life.
this isn't right.
silas isn't right.
but like what just happened, no one will make a move. no one will interrupt. no one will prevent this from happening again. the only thing that can save her is herself. she can't do it now, not alone, but she refuses to live through it again. if only she had swallowed that pill earlier. unfortunately, she wasn't even capable of that. so she'll live through tonight, suffer through the shithole that is rocket, to aspire to make a better tomorrow.
silas has dethroned their father because he couldn't get behind his father's stubborn morals.
esser will now do the same, all to put an end to her brother's depravity.
this isn't for justice. this is for love. a sweet, sweet, love for vengeance.
--- PM me for any questions and concerns.
SILAS BLACKWELL |
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